We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize