I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
