No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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