just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize