You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
When are your genitals available?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
