I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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