He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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