I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
