he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Please don't give away my fajitas
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
