it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
