At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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