I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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