Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
