"it" just moved
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
