I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
