i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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