My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
