for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
