I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
