My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
