That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
