Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
