I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
