Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
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