and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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