i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
