Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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