Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
