i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
