There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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