Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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