its not stalking. its research.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
