Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Randomize
