After last night, I could never be a politician.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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