well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
