So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I forget how to act sober
Randomize