Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
