I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
