I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
