Me. At least after what I've been through.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize