big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
jump out the window naked night went bad
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
