There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
