The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
