Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
