I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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