I skipped work to stalk him.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
