I only kidnapped one of them. chill
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
