Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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