I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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