My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
