i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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