That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
