where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
So here I am, sexting at work.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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