Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
