I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
