Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?â€
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
