Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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