omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
