After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
