i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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