3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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