So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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