This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
