ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
