Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
