Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
