is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
