Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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