so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
