Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
