I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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