I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
