He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
