puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
