Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
