Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
