While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
