It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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