just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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